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03 October 2011 @ 06:01 pm
That's how life goes Chapter 3  
Title: That's how life goes Chapter 3
Pairing: MaruDa, (KameDa), TaNaka
Beta: pikame_love uhh thanks
Rating: PG 13
Genre: romance, angst
Disclaim: Characters are not mine, but I would like to have one. I own the story.
Note: Don't expect that much it's my second fic:-) and english is not my native language
Summary: Ueda fell for Kame and quits his relationship with Nakamaru. How is Nakamaru going to manage the situation?

Everything was ready. Nakamaru prepared a dinner for Ueda. The week without him was very hard and Nakamaru was very happy to see his Hime again. The only thing he was worried about was that Ueda didn’t answer his SMS but Maru was sure that Ueda had a reasonable apology. He didn’t know when Ueda would arrive but he hoped it wouldn’t be that late.

The doorbell rang and Maru opened the door very fast. There he stood his Hime, his life. Maru took Ueda’s hand and pulled him into his flat. “Welcome home!” Maru said with a big smile. He took Ueda’s head and kissed him. But something was different. Ueda didn’t kiss him back; he didn’t wrap his arms around Maru. Maru stopped to kiss him and looked into his eyes. He saw everything he loved in those chocolate-eyes.

Then he noticed the tears which ran over Ueda’s face. “Hime, what’s up?” Maru asked and hugged Ueda. “Please talk to me!” Ueda didn’t say a word. He just shook his head and closed his eyes. Nakamaru was shocked. That was definitely not the situation of their reunion as he had imagined it. He pulled Ueda into the kitchen where the dinner was ready. “Sit down, please!” Maru begged. But Ueda didn’t move.

Maru was helpless and suddenly he started to panic. What the hell did happen? Maru sat down and looked at Ueda. He still stood there and didn’t move. Nakamaru really didn’t have a clue what was going to happen. So he just sat there doing nothing. Then Ueda took a deep breath and said: “It’s over.” “What?” Maru asked in disbelieve. “It’s over.” Ueda repeated.

Maru couldn’t understand. Was this a bad joke or something like this? Ueda didn’t seem to joke. Maru stood up and wanted to touch Ueda’s face but Ueda twitched back. Ueda was serious. Tears ran over his face. Nakamaru felt nothing. “Why?” he simply asked. Ueda shook his head. “Please tell me why?” Maru begged. “It’s not your fault.” Ueda said but he didn’t answer Maru’s question. “Why!” Maru shouted but Ueda still only shook his head. “I will go now.” “No you won’t!” But Ueda already nearly reached the door.

Nakamaru started to run and closed the door again before Ueda could get outside. “Let me go!” Ueda ordered. “No...” Nakamaru whispered and a single tear ran over his face. He looked into Ueda’s eyes. He wanted to touch him just one last time. He wanted to hold this body, which he loved so much, tight and wanted to tell Ueda not to go, not to leave him. But he knew he had no chance. Slowly he opened the door. “Don’t leave me.” He whispered. Ueda walked out of the door. “I’m sorry for everything I have done to you. Goodbye Nakamaru.” And then he was gone.

Nakamaru still felt nothing. He wiped the tear of his face and went back to the kitchen. Then he cleaned the dishes although they didn’t use them and cleaned up the table. Maru threw the flowers which stood on the table into the rubbish bin and walked into his bedroom. Looking for a box he returned into the living room and he found one. He took the photo of him and Ueda which stood on his desk and threw it into the box. Then he walked into the bathroom and threw Ueda’s towel, the toothbrush he used to use and the lube inside the box. After a while all small things Ueda had ever used were in this box.

Nakamaru walked to the rubbish bin and wanted to throw the things away but then he realized that he couldn’t do this. He wanted to remember this beautiful time. Maru walked back into the bedroom and put the box under his bed.
He changed into his pyjama and switched of the light. He laid there for quite a while when his feelings overwhelmed him. Ueda was gone and would never come back. Nakamaru started to cry immediately. The tears now freely ran down his face.

What went wrong? Their relationship had been fine; Ueda had always seemed happy. And the last time they had sex had been unbelievable good. Maru had always taken care to push the other over his limit before he cared about his own pleasure. So, damn, what went wrong? Nakamaru always knew that Ueda wasn’t sure about being in love with him but he thought after a time Ueda would realize that he, Yuichi Nakamaru, was the right guy to be with.

But obviously that was wrong. Nakamaru’s pillow was already full with tears, he had never been so sad in his life. After a while there were no tears left and Maru only laid there listening to his thoughts and feeling the pain he knew he wouldn’t get rid of for quite a while. He was alone again. Suddenly he had the strong desire to touch Ueda. The lust to sleep with him was so strong. It overwhelmed Nakamaru and he started touching himself. He moaned into the pillow, dreaming of Ueda’s face, Ueda’s hair, Ueda’s skin, Ueda’s strength. On the next morning he felt more alone than ever.

About two month later.
Nakamaru was on the way back to what you could call a normal personality. He still worked with Ueda but he never talked to him. It still hurt him to see him laugh, to hear his voice. But at least the worst was over. The first weeks with KAT-TUN again were like suicide. Nakamaru wasn’t the type who cried in front of others instead he turned into an emotionless zombie. He didn’t care about anything or anyone. Maru only got up for work. Fortunately his friends didn’t give up on him, especially Koki and Jin who came by some times or, in Jin’s case, when he was in Japan again. Junno cared for him, too, but he always held some distance between them and Kame seemed not to care, but he really didn’t matter to Maru until...

Nakamaru was tired. He slowly walked into the dressing room. The shoot for their new video has been very long but at least Ueda left early. Next to Maru Koki didn’t stop talking to him, it was rather annoying. Nakamaru didn’t even listen. Koki opened the door and walked some steps before he stood still abruptly. 'What is this freak doing?' Nakamaru thought before he noticed what actually happened in the dressing room. There they were, Ueda and Kamenashi, these damn idiots, sitting on the couch and kissing each other as if they would like to eat the other. Nakamaru couldn’t even figure out which hands belonged to Ueda. And suddenly the pain was back again; Maru had fought it for weeks now and now it hurt that much that Nakamaru just turned around and ran home. Behind his back he heard Koki shouting at Kame and Ueda.

On the way home he bought a bottle of whine. Normally he wasn’t the type for drinking alcohol to forget but it was just too much now.
He threw himself onto the couch and opened the bottle and took one dram. Nakamaru was already tipsy when the doorbell rang. “You forgot your things.” Koki said. “Can I come in?” “...’course.” Maru answered. “Do you want some?” Maru asked and pointed on the bottle. “No, thanks.” Koki said and sat down on the couch. Nakamaru sat down next to him and drank another dram. They didn’t talk to each other but Nakamaru knew that Koki watched him carefully. “Are you alright?” Koki asked.

“Stupid question of course I’m not. Do you think I do this every afternoon?” Maru thought but he didn’t answer Koki’s question. “I’m worried about you, okay? If you need to talk I will listen.” “Will you?” Maru mumbled and looked into Koki’s face. “You know, every second since Ueda and I broke up I wondered what went wrong. I searched for every detail in my head, thousands of times over and over again.” He suddenly burst out. “He left me because of this bastard. I should have realized before.” He looked at Koki again. “My life is a mess.”

Then Koki suddenly hugged him. At first Maru didn’t want any pity but then he was happy to have someone. He grabbed Koki’s shirt and started to cry again. He hadn’t cried for a long time and it felt good to cry again. Koki stroked Maru’s hair, his back and wiped away some tears. “He’s not worth one tear.” “Then who is worth to cry for?” Nakamaru replied with a broken voice. Koki sighed. Then Nakamaru suddenly kissed Koki’s neck. He licked it and bit it a bit. “No, we both know you don’t mean it like this.” Koki said quietly and laid one finger on Maru’s lips. “Maybe I should go now...” Koki stood up. “No, please don’t leave.” Maru grabbed Koki’s hand and pulled him back onto the couch. “We’re both really pathetic.” “I’m the pathetic one. You’re lucky.” Nakamaru mumbled. “You have no idea, Nakamaru. How should you?”

Koki sighed and laid one arm around Maru when the doorbell rang. Koki stood up and opened the door to Jin who immediately came in and sat down next to Nakamaru. “Hey chumb, keep going, okay?” Jin said while he laid one arm around Maru. “Thanks guys, honestly...” Nakamaru mumbled. He definitely drank too much whine and it was difficult for him to keep his eyes open. “Let’s bring him into his bed.” Koki said with a big smile about Maru’s tipsiness.

“I will stay here. Don’t worry.” Jin said after Nakamaru fell asleep and Koki couldn’t decide whether he should stay or leave. He had still some work to do. “That is really nice of you. It’s also important to me, you know.” Koki said looking to the ground. “I know.” Jin said seriously. “And I really hope that it is going to work with you two. Have you already confessed to him?” “No, I think it’s still too early. He’s still missing Ueda.” “But maybe he just doesn’t know that there is somebody else for him. Koki, you’re in love with him for more than three years now and about three years ago you already said it’s too early. Don’t wait too long again.” “Maybe you’re right...” Koki smiled thankful. Then he turned around and left the flat.

The next morning Nakamaru wasn’t feeling well and he was really happy that Jin took care of him and distracted him a bit. His head ached a lot but he wasn’t that sad any more. The chapter of his and Ueda’s relationship was closed now, the fairytale ended. It was past and Nakamaru was able to look into the future again. The reason for their breakup was clear and he didn’t blame himself any more. Of course he was still angry about Ueda and Kamenashi and he still missed Ueda’s snore next to him. But when he saw Jin sitting there and taking care of him he was just glad to have such wonderful friends.
The first time since Ueda and Maru broke up Maru was able to smile again and with this hopeful smile he surprised everyone at work.

About three weeks later Nakamaru was quite fine again. Jin invited him and Koki to a DVD evening because in the morning he had to leave again. They saw a few episodes of Yukan Club and made fun of Jin and Junno. Jin didn’t take it that serious. They laughed a lot this evening and they all felt how important it was to have friends. They also made a lot of funny pictures and wrote a new song together. It felt like the old times when Jin was still with KAT-TUN. But the next day he had to leave.

“Goodbye fellas. I hope it’s not going to be that boring without me. And I hope you will overcome your own fear.” Jin said and got inside the air plane.
“What the hell did he mean?” Nakamaru asked when he and Koki walked back to Koki’s car. But Koki didn’t answer he just opened the door, sat down and started the engines. “I need to talk to you.” He said and asked Maru to sit down. Slowly Maru got inside the car.

“What is it? Do you need help with something?” He supposed but Koki ignored him again and said “I love you. I know it’s not the most romantic moment to tell you but I wanted you to know before you find somebody else...again.” He closed his eyes and smirked sadly. “I’m in love with you for more than three years now and Jin was right. Better say it now than never.”

“What?” Nakamaru asked in disbelieve. Then he noticed how rude he must have sounded and said “Sorry, it’s just a bit surprising. I never thought of that before.” He thought about all the support Koki had given to him and felt quite strange. The best time of his life must have been the worst for Koki. Nakamaru looked at him but Koki avoided facing him.
“Look at me.” Nakamaru said softly. Koki turned his head around and looked into Maru’s eyes. “Can we still stay friends? I didn’t want to ruin our relationship.” Koki said with a broken voice. Nakamaru stroked Koki’s cheek. “I’m glad you told me and of course we can stay friends.” He leaned forward and gave Koki a soft kiss that made Koki gasp. “It’s just a bit early, you know? But I’m sure in some weeks I’ll be ready and we can try.” And his heart skipped a beat when he saw Koki’s face which was full of pure joy and love when he realized what Maru just said.

“That’s how life goes.” Nakamaru thought while he laid next to the snoring Koki about one month later. “Half a year ago I didn’t even want to admit that I was gay and now I’m in love with a man for the second time.” He stroked Koki’s lips. They were very smooth and soft. “Life is really strange sometimes; who would dare to suppose that this is going to happen?”
Until now there was only one critical moment in their relationship. The lube was empty but Nakamaru remembered the lube inside the box under his bed. He left Koki waiting with lust and anticipation in the living room.Then he sat down on his bed and found the picture of him and Ueda again, smiling happily. He just stared at the picture when Koki came to look where he was. Of course Koki was hurt at first but Nakamaru was able to avoid a fight. “Ueda is past, Koki. I just forgot about the box. Tomorrow I will throw it away, tonight I’ve really got more important things to do” Nakamaru said and kissed Koki impatiently. Then he started to tease one of Koki’s nipples. He licked over it and sucked on it a bit until Koki moaned in pleasure. “I love you, Yuichi!” He groaned and Nakamaru smirked. “I love you too, Koki.” He whispered in his ear and his life was fine.

Thanks for reading, please comment!
Hope you liked it.

Current Location: candyland
Current Mood: relievedrelieved
Current Music: Butterfly
snow_meowsnow_meow on October 3rd, 2011 04:50 pm (UTC)
Is this the end? I hope it is because Maru found someone who loves him and got over his relationship with Ueda.
gizmoygizmoy on October 4th, 2011 02:04 pm (UTC)
Yes it is the end. Thanks for commenting :)
pikame_lovepikame_love on October 4th, 2011 08:38 am (UTC)
Wo ist mein KameDa moment??? :D
Poor MAru~ but happy Koki was there for him...
die story war gut. :) hoffe es hat dir Spaß gemacht zu schreiben :D

Eigentlich hab ich dir ja schon meine meinung gesagt... tschüßi <3
gizmoygizmoy on October 4th, 2011 02:06 pm (UTC)
Klar hat es spaß gemacht sonst hätt ichs ja nicht geschrieben. Your KameDa moment is about to come.
nikkimatteinikkimattei on November 21st, 2011 02:13 am (UTC)
I am glad that Koki and Nakamaru ended up together. I just adore that pairing for some reason :P) They are both so cute and hot!!
gizmoygizmoy on November 21st, 2011 05:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for takin' the time to read my story.
Well, it was my first fanfiction and hmm, it ended a bit boring:)
And it always takes a lot of time for me to write a fanfiction.
I'm writing KameDa at the moment but I don't know when I'm going to finish.
Thanks so much for reading & commenting <3
romapiromapi on January 4th, 2012 01:20 pm (UTC)
this was fast. lol

Im happy that Yuuki find his love.

thanks for sharing
gizmoygizmoy on January 4th, 2012 02:57 pm (UTC)
Haha, thanks for reading.

In my mind Yuichi lived happy ever after with Koki <3